Lasix was given, filling foleys galore.
Stockings were worn to prevent emboli,
they came in two sizes, knee and thigh high.
The patients were nestled snug in their beds,
while visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.
We in our scrubs, and they in their gowns,
Fashions created to hide extra pounds.
When down in the ER it became such a zoo
they called with admissions for me and for you.
They’re coming, they’re going, all looking the same.
My patience for patients is starting to wane.
And now delegation seems to be the best plan,
But who can I find to empty bed pans?
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Santa himself and 8 tiny reindeer.
He came bearing gifts from Central Supply
Saline bags, tubing, LR, and D5!
The doctors then scribbled what no one could read,
Orders on patients, to measure their pee.
The new shift arriving, our day is now through,
How did stool & emesis get in my shoe?
We give them report and pass on the facts,
and tell them of Duoderm lining the cracks.
And the nurses exclaim as they limp out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all good night.!!!”